i must say. im quite a sentimental guy. not to self-praise or what. it might nt be a good thing.

im raised in a single-parent family. i only have my mum. my dad died when i was 2-yrs-old. i wasnt even old enough to know what death is. i just thought that my dad is sleeping. i didnt even have a chance to have a lasting memory of him. my mum will always try to make it up to me by giving me more love. but its nt the same.

going to school. looking at the children holding hands with their dad and mum. dads getting their bags for their child. i feel the sadness everytime. but who do i turn to? i was still a kid. dont really know how to be sad without the hormones in me. i just feel an undescribable emptiness in me. horrible feeling.

luckily. i might this family of people. they are now my godma, goddad, godbro. i was that close to them. they gave me love and taught me the ways. i am grateful to them.

maybe its due to my upbringing, i actuali grow up to become a quiet person in private. to others, i like to show the crazy part of me. i like to show the noisy part of me. but being quiet is the true me. i like the night. the quietness. the peacefulness. i feel very at ease at night. letting the inside me rule.

sometimes i really feel the emptiness. i sometimes ask myself, why, why am i without a father? why am i deprive of that love? whenever i think of all those. i struggle to hold back my tears. i doubt this sadness could ever be erased.