i always thought that painting IS fun. well, quite fun lah. but its more tiring then fun. haha. all the chasing of buses. buying of paint. till the starting to paint parts are all fun. but the tireness sets in once we started on actual painting and not fooling around. haha.

in the past i always feel weird when im with my church friends. always feel that i cant fit in. although they are like all my schoolmates(?) just felt that way..

until recently..

i found out why. why i have this feeling. its because i didnt want to fit in. thats the reason. i always feel neglected deep within. self-pity? im not really sure. but im dead sure my upbringing has a problem. i dont really have a perfect family. i know my mum is trying. but 1 never can be 2. i guess it cant be helped. maybe its a test that God gave me so that i would be stronger? im not sure.

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woah. freaking busy lately. supp papers. concert. camp. music lessons. painting of room(?) haha. everything has to be done. just dont know how. like my everyday is packed to the brim? anything more and it will overflow. i might just burst.

i feel that im enjoying church more and more. weird that i hated going to church every sunday. haha. maybe its the fellowship? in my world. i take that my friends are presents that God decided to give me so that i wont break under stress? like candies to kids. haha.

really regretted not learning piano properly. now, looking at everyone with an instrument in hand, i yearn to learn one. so i decided. guitar! haha. hope i would be able to learn to play as soon as possible. =) and maybe. just maybe. i will put my hands on the ivory sticks and start to learn again. if i got the money that is. haha.


supp paper tomorrow..

ohh. it has been quite some time since i blogged. well. it doesnt matter i guess. since my blog has no readers. ha.

has been quite some time since i met out with my church frens alr. and i finally did last night! went to ktv with zhiwei, krys and yiye. woah. sang fer so long. so many songs played. i swear i came out with a hoarse voice man. haha. thereafter its playing pool time with matthew and zhiwei. they are so pro. i only manage to win one round. and thats oso because of zhiwei missing almost every ball. haha. since it was late ( 3am), i went to stay over at his hse. and we slept like 5am? cuz we watched borat! laughed like mad man. but cant get the sound out cuz its late. haha.

slept and woke up at 1pm. its still okay considering that i slept till 4pm the previous day. LOL. im blabbering nonsense now. i dont know what im typing oso. haha. im tired. sleep.