updatess.

alright. yesterday marked my one month off the blog. too lazy to blog la. but actually alot happened during this one month.

lets just pick one to talk about. theres this competition for the bb primers that is held once a year in one of the polys that has bb as a CCA. theres competition for soccer, captains ball and basketball. but knowing 5th coy, we only joined soccer. last year we played and we lost. it was very emotional as some of us cried la. sad to see that scene sia. so this year we came back with a vengeance. HAHA. this time round we came back with more people also and nevertheless more quality. with some hiccups on the way, we came back as champions. it was really tiring la. like started at 8am and ended at 5pm? thats like office hour la! but nevertheless we enjoyed it la. every single match. but theres something that really disturbed me at the end of everything. prize was given and everything was settled. this pastor came out and lead us in vesper. he looked in our direction and saw one of our guys talking. this is what he said.

" can you guys please stop talking? please dont act like you're primary school kids. "

!!!! i really cant stand it man. being somebody with authority. being somebody who spread the word of God. cant he just say it POLITELY?!?! like just "please stop talking"?!?! must he like add the "DONT ACT LIKE YOU"RE PRIMARY SCHOOL KIDS"?!?! i think hes just sore that his team lost to us. hes just trying to embarass us in front of his people. so that would help save some face issit? i cant say that im a holy person. but at the very least, i dont shame people. this is the way of a LOSER. this pastor is from FCBC. im just ranting. dont mind.

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this past weeks has been a rollercoaster ride for me. unexpected things happened. things that i've never thought of before. maybe its God's will? i dont know. i think im quite an impatient person. i want things done quick. maybe its my upbringing. my mum always expect things to be done quick or else i wld have a battle scar ( cane scar ). some things in life we have to do it fast. but some stuff we couldnt rush it. we just have to take it slow. maybe God is giving me a chance to learn this good habit of being patient. im still far from being able to say that im a good christian. but im trying, very hard. i just hope that everything i do now would pay off someday, somewhere, on something.

i more of a pessimist than a optimist. on the surface, i take things lightly. inside me, nobody knows. haha. i dont like to frown or look sad in front of people. joking is a good way of shielding this side of me. sometimes i really think that i keep too much things to myself already. but i just cant bring myself to trust anyone. maybe again, its my upbringing. growing up with a single parent is not easy. i've had my fair share of tears and loneliness. imagine being without my mother for 2 years. although im still young at that time, it did some damage nevertheless.

i read in someone's blog that we should not get our hopes too high on things so that we wouldnt fall so hard. well, that doesnt apply for studies la. i've been using this 'formula' on my life for quite some time already. its easier to get over things this way la. you wouldnt brood over it for too long. but its not good in a way that, you will lose hope quickly once you sense things are not right. good in one way, bad in another. you judge it.


this entry is very random. dont mind.