i always thought that painting IS fun. well, quite fun lah. but its more tiring then fun. haha. all the chasing of buses. buying of paint. till the starting to paint parts are all fun. but the tireness sets in once we started on actual painting and not fooling around. haha.

in the past i always feel weird when im with my church friends. always feel that i cant fit in. although they are like all my schoolmates(?) just felt that way..

until recently..

i found out why. why i have this feeling. its because i didnt want to fit in. thats the reason. i always feel neglected deep within. self-pity? im not really sure. but im dead sure my upbringing has a problem. i dont really have a perfect family. i know my mum is trying. but 1 never can be 2. i guess it cant be helped. maybe its a test that God gave me so that i would be stronger? im not sure.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

woah. freaking busy lately. supp papers. concert. camp. music lessons. painting of room(?) haha. everything has to be done. just dont know how. like my everyday is packed to the brim? anything more and it will overflow. i might just burst.

i feel that im enjoying church more and more. weird that i hated going to church every sunday. haha. maybe its the fellowship? in my world. i take that my friends are presents that God decided to give me so that i wont break under stress? like candies to kids. haha.

really regretted not learning piano properly. now, looking at everyone with an instrument in hand, i yearn to learn one. so i decided. guitar! haha. hope i would be able to learn to play as soon as possible. =) and maybe. just maybe. i will put my hands on the ivory sticks and start to learn again. if i got the money that is. haha.


supp paper tomorrow..

ohh. it has been quite some time since i blogged. well. it doesnt matter i guess. since my blog has no readers. ha.

has been quite some time since i met out with my church frens alr. and i finally did last night! went to ktv with zhiwei, krys and yiye. woah. sang fer so long. so many songs played. i swear i came out with a hoarse voice man. haha. thereafter its playing pool time with matthew and zhiwei. they are so pro. i only manage to win one round. and thats oso because of zhiwei missing almost every ball. haha. since it was late ( 3am), i went to stay over at his hse. and we slept like 5am? cuz we watched borat! laughed like mad man. but cant get the sound out cuz its late. haha.

slept and woke up at 1pm. its still okay considering that i slept till 4pm the previous day. LOL. im blabbering nonsense now. i dont know what im typing oso. haha. im tired. sleep.

THE RULES

Each player of this game starts with the ‘6 weird things about you.’ People who get tagged need to write a post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.


6 Weird Things About Me:

1. (alright. this might make plagiarism ring in ur head. but im not copying ian!! alright. there goes) Im actually a quiet person. a quiet person at home. a quiet person alone. i dont really like to talk much. yup.

2. hmm. i have a short temper? i flare up easily. so dont MESS WITH ME. wahahahahaha. -.-"

3. actually theres not much i can think of. so i would skip this.

4. and this.

5. yup. you guessed it. and this. LOL.

6. actually im weird in my own way. so i guess no one really knows me. haha. ahh. im not making any sense. NEVERMIND.


6 moreeee peeps..
1. minhua
2. jinghui
3. eileen
4. junping
5. gabriel
6. gerrard cheah

i must say. im quite a sentimental guy. not to self-praise or what. it might nt be a good thing.

im raised in a single-parent family. i only have my mum. my dad died when i was 2-yrs-old. i wasnt even old enough to know what death is. i just thought that my dad is sleeping. i didnt even have a chance to have a lasting memory of him. my mum will always try to make it up to me by giving me more love. but its nt the same.

going to school. looking at the children holding hands with their dad and mum. dads getting their bags for their child. i feel the sadness everytime. but who do i turn to? i was still a kid. dont really know how to be sad without the hormones in me. i just feel an undescribable emptiness in me. horrible feeling.

luckily. i might this family of people. they are now my godma, goddad, godbro. i was that close to them. they gave me love and taught me the ways. i am grateful to them.

maybe its due to my upbringing, i actuali grow up to become a quiet person in private. to others, i like to show the crazy part of me. i like to show the noisy part of me. but being quiet is the true me. i like the night. the quietness. the peacefulness. i feel very at ease at night. letting the inside me rule.

sometimes i really feel the emptiness. i sometimes ask myself, why, why am i without a father? why am i deprive of that love? whenever i think of all those. i struggle to hold back my tears. i doubt this sadness could ever be erased.

an outing with the Leaders!

you linger in my mind -
i blew my chance -
or shld i say -
im not good at this? -
hope to see you again -
thats my prayer -
=)

woke up late today again. hais. but this time got reason okay. really too tired le. the previous day not enough sleep because of test. then the lack of sleep bring forward to the next day. dats why cant wake up. the worst part. i didnt know today is my PA duty. -.-" cant say its my fault rite? i didnt know lor.

alright. had soccer just now. haha. i feel that i've improved. just by abit lah. duno whether its i improve or they anyhow play leh. like i touch alot of the ball today sia. then somemore did some quite good passes. just that my team finishing not that good. always miss. but overall it was fun lah. at least got win some and i touch alot of the ball. haha.

helping out in the True Love concert. hope i dont screw up.

long day out. went out early in the morning for church. it has been quite some time since nt going to church. felt funny this morning. but right now. i feel that. hey. i quite like this routine on sundays. haha.

as usual had soccer after church. well. im nt a really very good footballer. im practically good in nothing. an F in soccer. an F in singing. hais. nvm. no more of these sad stuff. anw. soccer came. i went in one piece. soccer ended. came out with 2 blisters. well. its a price im willing to pay for soccer. haha.

then was slacking in the youth centre listening to ziwei and ian sing. then i was roped in. then i realise. i tink i've been wasting my time at lwssom. i dun really sing well after so long there. the sound is still coming out from the nostrils. hais. i suck.

anw. sleeping time. some last minute studying has to be done. ciaos.

im back! nono. not that im at ur back. im back as in.. nono. not at ur back lah! im in front of you. just that im back from nt blogging... IM BACK! -.-''

alright. school is hectic.nd as usual. late everyday. i dont know why man. why i just cant wake up no matter how early i slp. its the same. LATE. dont know when can i kick the habit. hais.

anw. workload is getting heavy. deadlines are getting nearer. i haven even started on my computer programming project. shit! and my problem solving project? OMG! i dont know how im going to get them out in time. furthermore, theres studying to be done for my semestral exam. hais. stress. people say poly life is slack. WHAT THE HELL! i've been punk'd. its not slack man.

anw. another week have passed and that means, the nearer it is to the end of my lwssom lessons. hmm. tink i gonna miss the saturdays. haha. but nvm lah. means saturday will have time off to slack at night. enjoy the starry and breezy nights. how great.

gotta find a job soon. or else holiday wld become a bore.

another late nite. duno why. i cant really sleep until its 1am or 2am lately. weird. hope i wld be able to get rid of this bad habit quick.

woke up late today and missed 3hrs of lesson.

today TP's having open house. its scary when u see ur own school being swarmed by outsiders and infuriating when u cant even get to ur tutorials. -.-" people squeezing here and there. when i finally manage to reach the classroom. i was already perspiring like hell. damn.

skip the last lecture. which is maths. actuali thats a lecture that anyone and everyone shld skip. since nobody listens to the lecturer and he is alwaes teaching in a world of his own. nothin comes out from him and nothin goes into us. might as well cancel the whole damn thing. i mean. arent teachers suppose to teach? he doesnt even care if we are talking too loudly. he just continue doing wad he is expected to do for the day and leave. that is bad man. considering that he a highly-paid teacher. nt good man. a big thumbs-down.

alright. i know i shld be sleeping. but just felt like blogging lah. since so long didnt blog alr. might as well.

hmm. life has been hectic for me. as soon as school term starts, i have been struggling. struggling to keep up with the pace of life. keeping up with the sleep i need.

exams is in arnd one more month[?] time. i seriously need o buck up alr. i can alr feel the pressure of retaking any mdules next semester. scary.

back from holiday!!! yeah!!! hold on. why am i so happy. damn!

anw. as we all know. 2 weeks of no school is NO holiday. its far too short. ya. they say its to let us rest. i dont think so man.

been busy for this past 2 weeks. caroling. church christmas celebration. bb. kayaking. the list goes on.

but im glad in this 2 weeks of holidays. i got to know 3. yes. not one but THREE. 3 new friends. haha.

Karin
Catherine
Jinghui

great friends that came.. great friendship to come..


=)

THREE down.

ONE to go.

=)

LATE again today. hais. missed 2 lectures. late for lab for half-an-hour. dats bad isnt it.

the good thing is. this week is my last week before my term test. haha. okay. not that good oso.

-.-"

anw. tml got some interview thingy. dont know how it wld be. hmm. nt sure.

ohh man. this must be the side-effect of camps.

been late for school practically everyday.

skipped Computer Programming on Tuesday cos cant wake up.

skipped Engineering Maths lecture Today cos cant wake up.

shit. just pray that i can be on time tomorrow.

YOUTH CAMP 2006 has just came to an end. that spells an end to my programmer identity too. i must say being in the committee is hardwork. sleep late. wake up early. debrief. debrief. debrief. it is hardwork definitely. but looking at the campers enjoying themselves. having fun with everyone just gives me the energy to push on through the next day. looking at the smiles of the campers. looking at the campers compete during the outdoor games just gives me the sense of achievement. satisfaction.

reflecting on the youth camp this year. i enjoyed myself thoroughly. but the enjoyment i got from this year's youth camp and last year's youth camp is different. probably because last year, i came as a camper. but this year, im in the planning. really had fun in the camp. bought gifts and wrote notes. laughing at the skits of the different groups. haha. jokes.

teacher: define pi.
student: 3.142
teacher: hee. WRONG! Pie is Delicious!

been really busy lately.

down with sorethroat.

got worser and worser as the day goes.

tired.

alright. the following entry is dedicated to MR YAM!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! =)

thanks fer the four years of guidance in The Boys' Brigade 5th Company.

appreciated.

hope that all your wishes would come true in the coming year and all would be well fer you.

God Bless.

read from the papers yesterday about an 8-years-old boy having the the disease known as Severe Combined Immunodeficiency (SCID) aka "Bubble Boy" disease. its a disease whereby the bone marrow cannot produce white blood cell, causing the bearer to not have an immune system. it so saddening looking at the little boy on the papers. he is so skinny as he cant take in nutrients through food properly. he also contracted this skin problem and as a result, his skin is peeling. looking at him, i really pity him. he is 8, but he is deprived of what a normal 8-years-old would be doing. go to school. play at the playground. he always pleads to his mum to bring him out and let him go to school, but he himself knows that it is impossible.

looking at this report, it shows us the cruelty of the world. realty is hard to swallow. look at the boy. he has done nothing wrong. he is just another baby boy being born into this world. yet he is dealt with this punishment. hais. the world is unfathomable. if you are thinking that this sort of things would not happen to your child.. think again..